The O'Connor Family

New Blog

2009-05-15T10:20:00.002-04:00

We've got a new blog!

There's still some minor adjustments to be made, but I've decided to activate it so I can just do the upkeep on one blog instead of two!

Be sure to bookmark the new link!!

http://www.kristinmoconnor.com/familyblog/

rough

2009-05-12T09:58:00.004-04:00

The last week has been rough. Tensions are high. Sleep is minimal. I think we're all emotionally drained.

And Shane, our poor, sweet little boy, all too often lately, ends up being a "casualty" in all of this. Breaks my heart. He's 3. He should have Mommy and Daddy's undivided attention, and many times, most times, our attention is anything but undivided.

Recovery on Chris is harder this time around, I think because the two procedures were done so close together, he didn't have time to completely heal from the first go around. Watching him struggle is an internal battle for me, and lately, parts of every day find me, find us, in tears. The weight loss continues, the feet continue to swell, sleep is still hard to come by, and lately, the life is gone from his eyes. He looks like a man in desperate need of a break. A break from the pain, the treatment, the recovery. Yet we know there are a few more steps we need to walk before that break will happen. That's tough on all of us.

Chris has said that most days he feels like he's just surviving. He's not living. And it's the living part he wants to get back to -we all do - and we will, no doubt. But the road is much rockier and much longer than we had imagined.

Things we used to love to do get pushed aside to make room for the things we need to do, namely, to heal. All of us. Inside and out. My therapist tells me that it's important to not let go of the things that make us, us. The photography. The walks on the beach. The trips to the children's museum. The walks thru the park with the dogs. The family vacations. The Sunday drives. The sporting events. All the things that make our family who we are - they're the things we seem to be letting go off and it's high time we regain control and welcome these things, our things, back into our life. Perhaps that is when the healing will really begin.

A Note From Our Amazing Friends & Family

2009-05-07T14:54:00.002-04:00

Benefit for Christian O’Connor!

Sometimes charity really does begin at home…

Christian O’Connor is suffering from Neuroendocrine Carcinoma, a battle he fights valiantly along with his wife Kristin, son Shane, family and friends.
But they need your help…

Please join us and help support the O’Connor Family at Chuck’s Steak House in Darien, CT for a Steak and Eggs Brunch and Silent Auction.
Proceeds to benefit the Christian O’Connor family.

Date: Sunday, May 31

Time: 10am - 2pm

Place: Chuck's Steakhouse - 1340 Post Road Darien, CT

Donation: $30 per ticket, children 10 and under are free

Can’t make it to Chuck’s and still want to help the O’Connor family during this difficult time or have questions, please contact Susan Buesing at sbuesing@verizon.net or 267-475-8700.

Doing Well

2009-05-04T10:20:00.002-04:00

So - first things first, head CT came back clear!!! It wasn't something we really ever thought was going to a problem, but still - it's good to know that everything is fine and we're SO thankful for the prayers and support that helped us get those results!

Chris is doing well. Nausea is his biggest complaint, and thankfully, that has been much better the last day or so. He has some pain, but nothing unbearable, thankfully.

His sodium levels are a bit low, but nothing that they were surprised to see. All in all, he's doing well and this embolization has gone MUCH better than the last one!

His doctors are taking him off the IV today and will start him on oral pain meds. If that all goes well, and if he continues to eat and feels up to it, they may even let him go home tonight! So, we're continuting to sit it out and wait and see what happens.

In other news, our little guy officially turned 3 yesterday!!! We'll do a big birthday post for him later in the week once things have quieted down around here.

Keep those prayers coming!!

Always Something

2009-05-02T07:23:00.002-04:00

It's always something. Chris got into his room yesterday around 4:30. At 6:30 his nurse came in to say that they had ordered a CT scan of his head and he'd be going back down to the 2nd floor to have that done. NEVER a dull moment!

They were concerned because one of his eyes wasn't as open as the other eye and that eye was also appearing a bit red. They wanted to be sure it was nothing and so the CT scan was ordered.

I'm not sure when we'll get the results back. In my heart I don't think there's anything to worry about. He was still pretty groggy yesterday and he's always been one to do things like that with his eyes - he even watches TV that way. Still, it's something else to worry about for now!

So, prayers for clean head CT scan would be appreciated! They've been working thus far - keep them coming!!

Embolization #2 - A Success!

2009-05-01T15:26:00.002-04:00

The embolization experience this go around has been much better and much less stressful than it was 7 weeks ago.

We were told to arrive at 8am and the procedure was scheduled for 10. Chris's blood pressure, as great as it was last Thursday, has been high since his pre-surgical appointment on Monday. We were actually starting to get nervous that they would cancel us because despite the constant changes to his blood pressure medication this week, his blood pressure was still high yesterday.

When we got here this morning, his blood pressure was 159/93 - and we thought for sure that we were going to be walking back out the door. But 10 minutes later, they checked it again (in the other arm) and it was 152/84 - we were a go!

Chris and I were escorted down to the 2nd floor where the embolization would occur, and Jerry and Zita went down to the lobby to wait for me. Chris was quickly taken into the procedure room, we said our goodbyes as we each fought off tears and I went off to find his parents to wait.

Dr. G. came out around 12:30 to say that while the embolization went VERY well (YEAH!!) his blood pressure did in fact rise and they were unable to remove the catheter (at this point we were fearing a repeat of last time). But unlike last time, Dr. G. came out again 30 minutes later to say that they were able to get his blood pressure low enough to be able to remove the catheter and that they'd be moving him up to recovery shortly!

By 1:30 he was in recovery, we saw him around 3pm and while still groggy, he was MUCH more alert than he was the last time.

The best news of all . . . . Dr. G. thinks Chris may be able to go home on Sunday!! Sunday, for those of you who don't remember, is Shane's 3rd birthday! Nothing would make us happier than the spend the day together, at home, as a family! So here's to a speedy recovery!

Many thanks for all the support and prayers. They truly are what carries us through.

Happy Birthday To You!

2009-04-27T15:50:00.007-04:00

Just a few more video clips of Shane, these from singing "Happy Birthday" to him on Saturday! This kid LOVES him some attention!! Is he his Daddy's boy or what!

(Both taken on "Aunt Tate's" cell phone - thanks Aunt Kate!)

Three Minutes With Shane

2009-04-27T06:57:00.004-04:00

Welcome to OUR world!!!

Good News/Surprising News/Birthday News

2009-04-24T09:31:00.003-04:00

So our trip to Sloan-Kettering yesterday was a success!

We left the house at 5am, by 7 we had parked the car at the hospital and had walked over to the imaging center on 55th St. Chris had his CT scan around 8:30, by 9 we were walking back to the hospital, he had his lab work done at 9:30 and by 10:45 we were sitting at a desk across from Dr. G!!!

Results from yesterday's scan look great! Lot's of big black holes in his liver where tumor used to reside! And Dr. G. kept using the word "Fantastic!" when looking at all his blood work results!

We also got some surprising news! The embolization for the left side of Chris's liver is scheduled for next Friday, May 1. We never expected it to happen so quickly - we thought it'd be another week or two after that before we'd be back there for round 2! But, Dr. G. had an opening in his schedule and his favorite room was available, so we jumped on it! Dr. G is pretty confident that this embolization will be much easier on Chris (and on him!). The left side of the liver is smaller than the right side anyway, which makes it a bit easier, but there's also far less tumor on the left side than what had been on the right side. Another good thing, is that Chris now has more healthy liver tissue, which should also make recovery easier. AND, because Chris's blood pressure issues seem to be under control (124/76 yesterday, yeah!!) we shouldn't have the complications like we had last time either!

LOTS of great news yesterday!!

The only "downside" to all of this (and in the grand scheme of things, it's really not so downside!!) is that Shane's 3rd birthday is next Sunday (the 3rd) and we were going to have his party then. Since we'll now be in the hospital next weekend, we decided to move his party up to tomorrow instead!!! Soooooo, stay tuned for lots of fun pictures on Monday! Until then, here's his adorable birthday invitation - thanks to Stacey at Park Thomas Design!!

Leukocytoclastic Vasculitis

2009-04-21T15:34:00.004-04:00

Say that three times fast!!!

That's the diagnosis (after biopsy) on the rash Chris had on his legs and ankles that, eventually, caused the swelling in his feet (apparently, my husband can't just get a good old fashioned rash that is taken care of with a little cortisone cream!)

Basically, that big, long, clinical name translates to "rash caused by bacterial infection". In his case, it was likely caused from the toxins that the dying tumors (from the embolization) are giving off.

A few days on 10mg of prednisone, and he was just about as good as new!

He had a follow up with the dermatologist today and after a few more doses of the prednisone, he should be good to go!

Other than the rash, he's been doing GREAT lately! Eating well, sleeping a (TINY) bit better, pain is more manageable, he's playing with Shane and my boys have even claimed back their mornings together (even if it is just 2 mornings a week right now - we'll take it!!) and he's only crawling into bed at night now! I can't even begin to describe how great it is to see Chris looking so good. He's come a long way since March 9 (day before his embolization) and I know he'll be doing even better after the second embolization is done!

We're well on our way to claiming our life back!!!!!!!

We're back to Sloan-Kettering on Thursday for a follow up CT scan and to meet with Dr. G. regarding the embolization Chris had in March and on, hopefully, scheduling the one for the left side of his liver in another week or two.

Prayers are always welcome around here!!

Sesame Street

2009-04-20T16:21:00.004-04:00

So we had ourselves a FANTASTIC 4-day family weekend (more on that tomorrow)!!!

We kicked things off on Friday morning with a trip to the Arena at Harbor Yards to watch us some Sesame Street Live!! Our little guy had the best time and is STILL pouring through his $12 program!!!

***Happy Birthday, Nana!!! I actually FORGOT to wish my own Mom a Happy Birthday on the phone this morning (can you believe that!! Pass over the daughter of the year award, for sure!!!), so I HAD to give her a shout out on the blog to make up for it! We love you!!

With A Vengeance

2009-04-14T09:19:00.007-04:00

Once Shane gathered all the eggs from his Easter egg "hunt" in the backyard, he went into Nana's living room and ripped open those eggs with a vengeance!! He couldn't possibly have eaten any more puffs or Cheerios in one day if he had wanted to!

If you haven't seen the videos of him collecting the eggs, watch those first!

Easter Joy

2009-04-13T10:12:00.002-04:00

He lights up our entire world, in more ways than one, and it was SO great to watch him be a kid yesterday! He completely enjoyed his easter egg "hunt" that Aunt Kate set up in Nana's backyard! Here's the proof!

(Recorded on Aunt Kate's cell phone):

The Latest With Chris

2009-04-13T10:08:00.003-04:00

Chris has had an awful rash on his legs for almost 2 weeks now. Big red spots, slightly raised, not itchy, that were finally starting to go away and then Thursday night we noticed some swelling in one of his achilles and the next morning there was a HUGE spot where the swelling had been. Both of his feet have been pretty swollen all weekend and walking is a bit difficult and painful. He did go to a Walk-in clinic on Saturday and they didn't have a clue as to what it could've been. Hopefully he'll get in to see Dressler today and get some relief.

Never a dull moment!

The irony here, is that he had a pretty great weekend otherwise! Liver pain and abdonimal pain were minimal, especially on Saturday, but he couldn't really enjoy it because of his feet! Poor guy!

We have our follow up with Sloan-Kettering next Thursday and we're still investigating what our next move will be. We'll either head back to Sloan for his 2nd embolization or head out to New Orleans to get another treatment plan reccomendation by the doctor's out there known as the "Dream Team" in the world of Carcinoid Cancer. We'll be sure to keep you all updated.

Keep us in your prayers!

Getting Out

2009-04-09T09:13:00.002-04:00

Even though it's not exactly warm yet, we'll take any increase in temperature we can get to get ourselves out of the house - it's been a LONG winter!

A few weeks ago we busted out and played out in the yard one night after work. This swing set may have taken 4 adults (+ 2 more to watch Shane!) an entire weekend to put together, but it was worth the effort! Shane LOVES the thing!

Taking a break to find a plane:

Happy Easter, everyone!!!

A Call For Help

2009-04-08T16:04:00.003-04:00

With our personal chef officially off duty for the first time in 6 months (see post below!) and with Chris being home on disability and needing to gain back some weight, not only for health reasons but to also increase his energy level, I'm in DESERATE need of dinner ideas and recipes!

Ideally, I'm looking for things that can quickly and easily be thrown together the night before and that Chris can toss into the oven an hour or two before Shane and I get home.

Good,wholesome meals that are easy on the digestive system. In other words, nothing too spicey, no raw veggies, and no super thick cream sauces. Protein is our top priority (that, and it has to be yummy enough for an almost 3 year old to eat)!

We'd welcome any ideas or recipes you have! Feel free to email them to me at koconnor1009@hotmail.com

We'll be forever in your debt!!

On The Road (Again?)

2009-04-08T14:14:00.004-04:00

When the two of you pulled into our driveway that Friday night six months ago, each of you in a separate car packed to the gill with all of your favorite belongings, exhausted from a day of packing, lawyers and handing over your condo keys, none of us ever saw your planned two week stay with us turning into 6 months.

But as luck would have it, your condo sold at just the right moment, for 5 days later would find Chris in the ER and a week after that would find us with a cancer diagnosis. We hope you both know how much we appreciated (and needed) your support at that time. How great it was to come home from that fateful doctor appointment to hear you say you'd be staying with us for a while, to know that we weren't alone.

We're extremely grateful to both of you for all you've done for us these last 6 months. I think it's pretty safe to say that we wouldn't be where we are today without the support and the sacrifices you gave, and made, for us. There are no words to express our gratitude to you for giving up your own lives for 6 months to guarantee the safety and well being of ours.

While you are (finally!) making your way down to Florida today to re-start your life, know how much you're missed up here. And know we're okay. And that we'll continue to be okay.

With much love and appreciation . . . .

Earning His Keep

2009-04-07T10:13:00.004-04:00

(Almost) 3 isn't too young to put him to work, is it??

Aunt "Sue-bus", I suppose this will be going into your "book"???!!! :-)

Helping Papa:
Getting pointers from Daddy:

Good job, Buddy!!!

**Note: Despite how dead our grass was (okay, is), we would never have our little guy doing any kind of manual labor out in the yard - not yet anyway! He pulled the seed spreader out of the shed himself (swear!!). I think he thought it was one of his push toys! Regardless, he had TONS of fun pushing that thing around the yard!!

A (New) Old Favorite

2009-04-06T16:41:00.002-04:00

Stacey Thomas, a very talented designer over at Park-Thomas Design has been helping me design Shane's 3rd birthday invite (I'll be sure to share the design once they've been received by family). With Stacey's help, we decided to use this cropped version of one of my all-time favorites! Thanks, Stacey!

A Boy & His Dogs

2009-04-06T10:33:00.006-04:00

Our son SO thinks that he is a canine! Most days, I'm surprised he's not walking around on all four like Kylee and Zoe do!

In the interest of full disclosure, when I was pregnant with Shane, Chris and I were a bit concerned about how the dogs, especially Zoe, would react to having a baby in the house. I mean, our girls had been our babies all along, right until we were blessed with a little blue bundle of our own.

Both Kylee and Zoe are rescue dogs, and both have their "issues". Not knowing what their full backgrounds are made it difficult to envision how they'd handle having a little one around. Kylee has to be the center of attention at all times, so naturally, we were concerned about how she would handle playing second fiddle for a while! And Zoe, poor Zoe. She was abused by her previous owner and has always been skittish around strangers - mainly men and children.

But, from the moment we brought our little guy home, our girls took to him like glue! Sure they have their moments when they've had enough of him and I'm sure they're wishing he'd just disappear for a while (don't all siblings?!), but ultimately, they love him - immensely. They've taken him in like he's one of their own and Chris and I couldn't be happier!

I mean seriously, could they be having any more fun together!! Just take a look at his face!!

Yeah, I'm talking about you Buddy!!

More tomorrow!

A Day At The Park

2009-04-03T08:46:00.006-04:00

There's an elementary school, literally down the street from us, with a playground that Shane loves!

Often, on the weekends, we'll take a stroll up to the school and let Shane run around in the ball fields behind the school or play on the playground equipment for a while. It's a good way to get us all out of the house for a bit.

These snapshots were taken about a week and a half after Chris's embolization. Standing completely upright was still a bit tough for him and he was still in some considerable pain, but still - he knew getting out of the house would be good for him - and he was right! We all had a fantastic time playing at the school, as usual!

"Come on, Daddy! Over here!"

Curiosity still gets the best of him!!

Sick

2009-04-02T08:32:00.003-04:00

Chris and I went to yet another doctor appointment yesterday, but this time it was the pediatrician! Our little guy has yet another ear infection!

He started with a runny nose on Tuesday morning and after a bad night of sleep Tuesday night, we knew something was up - so we made the call to schedule an appointment for an ear check. Sure enough, left ear was infected!

After a few rounds of antibiotics yesterday, and an earful of the "numbing drops" that the pedi gave us, our little guy had a much better afternoon and night and was doing better already when he woke up this morning. Apparently, dull moments aren't allowed in our house!!

I've got tons of photos at home waiting to be edited, but thought I'd share these 2 quick snaps from Aunt Kate's birthday on Sunday. Our kid is such a ham!!

This kid L-O-V-E-S attention!! (Have I mentioned just how much he is his father's son??!!) Anytime anyone sings the "Happy Birthday" song, Shane is convinced it's for him - even if he's in another room. See how much he eats this stuff up!!!
More tomorrow, promise!

Aunt Trae, it was great to have you here for a few days - we're SO glad you made the trip, despite being sick - what a trooper!!! Shane had a fantastic time and there's no doubt that he's going to miss you - we all will! Hope you have a safe flight home and we're already looking forward to your next visit!!

Better Already

2009-04-01T08:59:00.002-04:00

Both my blogging and Chris!

And here's some proof (taken on St. Patrick's Day)! Looking good just one week after the embolization! Now we just need to get some weight back on him!
We had a house full of company yesterday, otherwise my new "blog promise" would've gotten under way a day sooner!

Here's a few more snapshots from St. Patrick's Day. $5 to anyone who can successfully explain to Shane that his electronic ride-on is an outdoor toy only . . .

Can't you just see the devil in his eyes! This kid is SO plotting his next "attack"!!

Back In The Saddle

2009-03-30T16:48:00.002-04:00

This is me, saying to all of you, that I'm vowing to get back in the saddle and to be better about keeping this blog updated!

While I would certainly give anything to have Chris NOT be out of work on disability right now, the extra time with him at night is priceless - I didn't realize how much I missed having him around at night during the week. Family time is awesome! BUT, more family time means less free time, and less free time means less blog time!

So - to Aunt Kate - HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY!! to Aunt Trae - Welcome Back to CT!!!

We're all doing REALLY well, Chris included! Pain is present, but is becoming more localized and every day I'm seeing more and more of the man I married (how I've missed him . . .) We're still looking into different options for treatment (I'm still after the cure!) and we're taking each day as it comes.

Life really is beautiful. And valuable. You realize what's most important to you when someone threatens you with the possibility of taking it all away. Lucky for us, we refuse to let it be taken.

"Much"

2009-03-25T09:29:00.004-04:00

It's the new "I love you" in our house (as in "I love you very much"). It's another "Shane-ism" and it lights up our hearts!

******

Chris is feeling, and doing, better every day. There's still pain, but that's to be expected for a while. The light is back in eyes. No, no. Scratch that. The LIFE is back in his eyes and it's SO good to see. He's not spending all day in bed anymore. His fast-acting pain medication is being used less and less often. He's eating a little bit more than before. There's a new sense of hope in our house for the first time in months and we're holding on tight with both hands!

Keep those prayers coming!

Celebrating You

2009-03-18T09:50:00.005-04:00

My precious little boy. Today is one of those rare days where I took a piece of time for myself and looked back at some of these posts on this blog from the last (almost) two years; remembering you. Celebrating you.

It still seems like only yesterday that you were wobbling around on two unsteady little legs as you pushed your "walkabout" up and down the length of the playroom, teaching yourself to walk. It seems like just last week that I snapped that picture of you sitting in your highchair with a face covered in spaghetti sauce and the devil's look in your eyes and smile! It seems like just then, but it was long ago.

There are days when it's difficult for me to look back at the baby you once where, knowing you never will be again. Those are the days when it hurts my heart to realize just how quickly you are growing up, how soon your first day of school will be upon us, complete with your first lunch box and first real friend.

There are days (most days) when my heart breaks to think that you may really be my only baby. That it may really just be you. Baby boy, my precious baby boy, trust me when I tell you it's not that you're not enough for me (for I consider myself the luckiest mom in the world to have you), it's just that this isn't something I ever wanted for you. I wanted so much more for you. I never wanted for you to be an only child. I wanted to give you your best friend, your built-in playmate, your companion with which to walk through life. But I'm realizing, slowly, that life may have other plans in store for us. And in my heart, I know that that will be okay too. For you, Shane Patrick, you are the flame on my candle, on our candle, and you are all the light we need.

But still, looking back and realizing the details of the moments that have already slipped through my mind, I'm glad to have this blog, this comfort place for me. It's good to have a place to come back to, to be with the you that you once were - on the days when my heart is strong enough to visit there.

And so today I celebrate you. The you you are today. The you at almost 3 years old. My silly little boy who has found a new fondness in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. The you that asks for "two treats" at bedtime; "two nanas. two puffs. two fishies" The you that makes my heart melt at the end of the day when you first catch a glimpse of me as I walk in to pick you up from daycare and how your face lights up enough to brighten even the darkest room. The you that still loves to dance and "sing" to the Wiggles; the you that knows which song, which dance step, is next - long before it comes. The you that wants to play in the pool, outside, even though it's only March.

The you that will still climb up in my lap on the occassional night for a few minutes of cuddle time before you drift off to sleep. Those are still my favorite moments. Sometimes I think you give them to me just to please me. Thank you.

Thank you for being you. And thank you for giving me so many reasons to celebrate you. To celebrate life.

Better Every Day

2009-03-17T14:09:00.002-04:00

We've been home from the hospital since Saturday afternoon and the difference in Chris each day is amazing.

In many ways, he's a new man.

It's obvious that the embolization has been a success! While he's still having severe pain in his liver, this time the pain is a "healing pain", a "the tumors are shrinking" kind of pain, it's a good pain this time. He's able to eat without having pain and nasuea. His body doesn't hurt all over anymore. His blood pressure is becoming steady and his BP meds have been decreased again. He's awake more than 30 minutes at a time. He can eat an entire can of Beefaroni (I know, I know, but he needs to GAIN weight, remember!!) without getting sick. His liver used to be hard as rock before this procedure, you could actually feel the outline of it just by running your hand over his abdomen - here we are, just a week later, and his liver is already so much softer!! He's a man on the mend and we're SO thankful to the Dr's at Sloan-Kettering for giving Chris his life back!

We're actually looking forward to meeting with Dr. G at the end of April to see the progress and to schedule the embolization for the left side of his liver. We're actually excited to go through this again, because while traumatizing in so many ways, we can ALREADY see the benefit in it and we're eager to have that clean slate, even if just for a few years. It's good to know that his liver should never again get to be as bad as it was. This is a new starting point for us. We're hoping this is the turn in events that we've been (not so) patiently waiting for.

We're ready to take back our life. We're ready to enjoy the summer lounging around in the backyard with our son. We're anxious to drive into Manhattan for PLEASURE, not for a Dr. appt! Today may very well be the first day of the rest of our life!

A Better Day

2009-03-12T09:27:00.002-04:00

I got the hospital this morning around 7:30 and was happy to see Chris standing (and wearing pants!) when I got up to his room!

His blood pressure is stable (139/84) though they do have him on 400mg of BP medication 3x/day! They're hoping to start weaning him off of that today.

He's in some pain, but it's tolerable. He was also feeling a bit nauseous this morning, but an IV drip of Reglan quickly took care of that problem! We even walked the halls for a few minutes this morning!

Dr. G has stopped by already to say again how pleased he is with the results already. Every bit of tumor on the right side of his liver is dead! He said he just really couldn't be happier and that he wants to do the left side in 6 weeks or so if Chris is feeling up to it. He wants to get the left side done before it gets as out of hand as the right side was.

So, the goal today is to wean Chris down on the BP meds, wean him off the pain pump, get him eating and get him walking. If we can manage to do all of that than maybe we really can get out of here tomorrow!

We'll continue to keep everyone posted. Please continue to keep Chris in your prayers.

Finally

2009-03-11T15:02:00.002-04:00

As of 1:30 this afternoon, Chris is in his room and is resting comfortably. His blood pressure is still a little higher than they'd like (140's/90's), but compared to yesterday (and even this morning) he's doing well.

The catheter in his artery finally came out around noon and while we were down in interventional radiology having that done, Dr. G. stopped me to say how pleased he was already with the looks of the CT scan they did of his liver this morning. He was really excited about the difference in the tumors already, and it hadn't even been 24 hours yet! He was so pleased he was telling everyone on the floor how well things were going!!! He also said he couldn't wait to show Chris and I the difference in the before and after scans at our next clinical appointment with him in early April! This news alone makes up for all the turmoil in the last 36 hours!!!

Right now the goal is to monitor his blood pressure and his pain. If all goes well and they're able to get a handle on both, then they'll let him go home on Friday, that's the soonest they'll let him out. So we'll see. We're both missing our little guy like crazy and we're anxious to get him back in our arms where he belongs!

Thank you for all the prayers, calls, support and good thoughts over the last few days. They mean a lot to us. Keep them coming!

Long Day

2009-03-11T05:26:00.003-04:00

I'm happy to say that yesterday Chris finally had the embolization procedure done on the right side of his liver. As we speak, the tumors that were embolized are starting to die and we should hopefully get 18-24 months before they return and before Chris will need another embolization on that side.

I'm not so happy to say that the procedure didn't go as well as they'd like. There were a few complications related to his blood pressure and yesterday turned into a very long and stressful day.

About 90 minutes after I left Chris in the procedure room, Dr. G came out to say that Chris's blood pressure was 200/130 and that they were having a hard time controlling it. They finally wheeled him back up to recovery at around 1:45. They wouldn't let us in to see him until 6. that was an incredbily long 5 hours. In that five hours they tried every medication possible, and still his blood pressure was 190/120. FINALLY, they started an IV drip, and the next time we saw him, at 8, his pressure was down to 139/90. At that point, we went out and grabbed a quick dinner and got back to Chris's side around 10. His BP was the same at that point and he was going to be riding out the night in recovery.

The other component here is that his blood pressure skyrocketed before they were able to remove the catheter from his artery. This was the catheter from which they did the embolization. Once his blood pressure became so elevated, it wasn't safe to remove the catheter without putting Chris's life at risk. Because of the catheter, he has to remain flat on his back and not move. His leg is actually in an immobilizer. The hope is that his blood pressure would've gotten low enough overnight to be able to remove the catheter this morning. After the catheter is removed, he'll go back to recovery for a few hours and will then finally make his way into a room.

This is all uncommon for embolization procedures. While it is common for a patients blood pressure to become elevated during/after the procedure, it's not common for it to take so long for it to come back down. Embolization patients don't normally spend longer than 4 hours in recovery, let alone the entire night. That's my husband, never doing anything the easy way!

When we left him last night he was still pretty groggy from the anesthesia and all the medications. He was complaining of his mouth being dry (they don't want him to have anything to drink while he's lying flat on his back and still so groggy), but he was having some ice chips to combat that problem. His biggest complaint, by far, was the back pain he was experiencing from having to lie flat on his back for all this time. I'm sure he'll be more than happy to be able to get up and move around once this catheter is removed.

All in all, it was a long, stressful, day - but it's over and this emoblization should help Chris immensely with the pain and discomfort he's been having. These last few weeks haven't been easy for us and we're looking forward to a turn of events!!

I'll be heading back up to the hospital in an hour or so and will post another update as soon as I'm able, possibly even later this morning/early afternoon.

Please keep the prayers coming. Prayers for a speedy recovery and for the embolization to have been a success!

Oh, What The Heck

2009-03-08T18:52:00.001-04:00

Here's one more video clip!

That makes 3 posts in one day! Two with video and one with 10+ photos!

How's that for making up for lost time?!

His Love For The Wiggles

2009-03-08T18:44:00.004-04:00

I'll admit it. I LOVE photographs. I love EVERYTHING about them. They're moments. Keepsakes. They're timeless.

Video . . . video is another story. We don't shoot much of it in this house (though I'm trying to rectify that situation and actually have TONS of video from Christmas if I can ever figure out how to edit and share it!)

Aunt Kate captured this on her cell phone a month or so ago. The quality isn't the greatest and it's fairly short, but it is funny! And it's Shane. 100%, dead-on, Shane. This is Shane on a daily basis, doing what he loves to do . . .dancing and singing to the Wiggles!

And in case you have a hard time trying to figure out what he's saying, he's saying goodbye to the "wacks". As in "quack". As in duck.

Welcome into our life!

Family First

2009-03-08T07:44:00.002-04:00

We may have a lot going on right now, but it doesn't mean we don't know how to take advantage of a good thing!

Yesterday was the first nice day we've had since summer turned into fall! The temperature here reached (almost!) 60 degrees and we took full advantage of the nice weather!

We grabbed some lunch and headed down to the beach for a little exploration and play! By the time we left, the little guy was so worn out that he went home and took a 3 hour nap!

We're hoping today is another nice day like yesterday, and that this weekend is a pre-cursor of good things to come this week!

My one and only:

"Ooohh, rocks"Shane's attempt at "skipping rocks":
Enjoying the fresh air:

Sticks!!

"See, Mama!":
They still manage to make my heart stop:

"Hi, Mama!"

Best friends:

Taking it all in:

"See the boat, Shane?!"

I was there, too!
My two favorites from the day. These boys are my entire life and I cherish MANY, MANY more decades of moments like these.

127/81

2009-03-03T10:38:00.003-05:00

That was Chris's blood pressure at our monthly appointment with Dr. D. yesterday!!! Way down from 150/96 - which is what it was when we were at Sloan for the embolization and way below the /90 that Dr. G. wanted us to be at. If this continues, we should be all set to get Chris this procedure really soon!

He goes back to Sloan tomorrow morning to meet with a MD there about his blood pressure, but it looks like we're heading in the right direction!

We'll continue to keep everyone posted. Keep those prayers coming!

No See Mama

2009-02-27T11:34:00.003-05:00

That's Shane's latest favorite expression - "No see, Mama, no see" (Translation - "I can't find it" - whether he can or not)

Example 1:
"Shane, where's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVD?"

"No see, Mama, no see"

Example 2:
"Shane, where's the sippy cup you're holding?"

"No see, Mama, no see"

He's a little smarty pants this one! He's figuring out just which buttons he can push and get away with.

I swear, sometimes, you can almost see the devil in his eye!

He's our comic relief these days. We'd be lost without our little guy!

Best Laid Plans

2009-02-26T06:10:00.004-05:00

We're home this morning. Chris's embolization procedure got canceled yesterday at, literally, the last minute. He was "suited" up, he had his IV and all the necessary infusions and he was sitting outside the procedure room when the doctor realized that his blood pressure was still too high. It would've been dangerous to do the procedure yesterday, so they sent us home. To say we're disappointed is an understatement, but we also don't want to do anything that would put Chris at risk.

Right now, we're hoping to re-schedule the procedure in a few weeks. We also have an appointment with a Dr. at Sloan-Kettering on March 4 to talk about how to get his BP down for good this time so that this doesn't happen again.

We thank all of you for your prayers and good wishes yesterday and all we can do is hope you'll offer them again when we re-schedule. We'll keep you all posted.

The First Day Of Forever

2009-02-25T05:26:00.005-05:00

It's 5:25 in the morning and I'm (finally) sitting at the desk in our hotel room in New York City. Actually, I'm sitting at the desk in the living room of our suite (yeah for free upgrades!!). Today is the day that Chris regains control of his life. Today is the day of his first embolization procedure to kill off the tumors on the right side of his liver. Today is the day that the pain starts to go away. The day where he can begin to function again without having to take the pain pills. The day where he can pick up and play with Shane the way he wants to. Today is our new first day of forever.

His embolization is scheduled for 11am. We have to be at Memorial Hospital (the main "campus"of Sloan-Kettering) at 9am. Doctors are anticipating the procedure to take about 2 hours, and then Chris will be in ICU for 4 hours afterwards. After that, they'll move him to his room and keep an eye on him for a few days. We hope to be back home sometime on Saturday, but we'll take that as it comes.

I won't get a chance to update the blog again until I get back to the hotel tonight, but I promise to update as soon as I can and let you all know how Chris is doing.

Your prayers today would be welcomed. Thank you for continuing to be our strength, our support. We love you all.

Getting Through The Road Blocks

2009-02-20T10:29:00.003-05:00

I know it's been a few days since our last post - sorry about that! It's been a hectic week for us (again!)

Chris went into NY on Tuesday for his pre-op appointment and to meet with the interventional radiologist that will be doing his embolization on Wednesday. Chris felt very comfortable with the Dr. and liked him a great deal. He's pretty pumped to be able to do this procedure on Chris, being that he's so young. He said he'll really be able to help him out and, as a doctor, that's what he strives for.

On Wednesday, they'll do the right side of his liver and he'll then go back in about 3 months to have the left side done.

We have, however, hit a little bit of a bump (surprise, surprise - I know!). Since our Feb. 2 appointment with Dr D. Chris's blood pressure has been up (150/100 - 170/100) and Sloan won't do the embolization procedure on him with his BP that high. They wanted to get him in to see a cardiologist on Tuesday, but couldn't fit him into anyone's schedule. In the interest of saving ourselves another trip to NY, I called Dr. D's office and they recommended a local cardiologist for us to see. So, I gave them a call and we saw the cardio on Wednesday afternoon. They ran a few baseline tests, gave us a prescription for BP medication and then had us schedule a follow up on Monday (2/23) for an echocardiogram (ultrasound) and BP re-check. If the meds have done their job (which they doctors seem to think will happen) then Chris will be all set for Wed, but, if his BP is still high and can't be regulated in 2 days, then we may have to reschedule - but we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. Right now, we're all optimistic that Wednesday will be a "go"!

Also, we did get the results back from the stomach biopsy that the GI doc did during Chris's endoscopy last week, and it did come back as a carcinoid (tumor). There is a chance that this could be the primary tumor, but more likely it's probably spread. Still, we're looking good and we'll address that tumor after the embolization procedure next week.

Keep those prayers coming - prayers for strength and prayers for healing. They're the fuel that's keeping us going!!

From Shane's Mouth To God's Ears

2009-02-16T08:17:00.002-05:00

Last night. like every night, I told Shane to climb into bed so that we could say our prayers. And last night, like every night, we would pray for Daddy to get well, to be healthy and happy again. We would pray for a cure.

But last night, unlike every night, Shane beat me to it. I turned away from the bed for a moment to get something off his dresser and as I turned back around, Shane was lying on his belly, on his bed, with his little 2 year old hands folded in front of him. And then I heard the most beautiful words he's ever said:

"Dada, pease, no more boo-boos"

I'm hoping that prayer took an express ride on an Angel's wing, right on up to God.

Embolization Is A Go!

2009-02-13T06:04:00.002-05:00

We got word yesterday that Chris is in fact a candidate for the hepatic embolization procedure - this is fantastic news!

The procedure is scheduled for Wednesday, February 25 at Sloan. He'll spend a few days in the hospital and will hopefully be coming home sometime that weekend.

Fingers crossed that things continue to go well and that the good news keeps on coming!

Dr. Meng also gave Chris a prescription for anti-nasuea medication when we were there on Wednesday, which seems to be helping a bit with all of his stomach discomfort! More good news, but we're going to continue holding out until he's completely pain free before we start throwing our hats up in the air!!

What a difference a week can make . . .

It's Been A Good Week

2009-02-12T11:07:00.006-05:00

Our trip to Sloan-Kettering yesterday was a good one. We didn't get any unexpected, or surprising, news - which is always a good thing when you're dealing with cancer!

Dr. Meng did send Chris for a "detailed" liver CT scan up at the main hospital. This scan will let the interventional radiologists at Sloan know if Chris a candidate for a procedure call a hepatic embolization. Essentially, it's a procedure that stops the blood flow to the tumors in the liver. The idea is that without blood, the tumor's can't continue to grow. The hope is that the tumors will begin to shrink and will also prevent new tumors from growing for a good period of time.

They also gave Chris a prescription for an anti-nausea medication, which we're hoping will help with his stomach pain/discomfort, which is still his biggest complaint.

Both Dr. Meng and Dr. D. feel that the stomach issues could be a side effect from the monthly injections he's been receiving. Dr. Meng suggested lowering the dosage of that monthly shot to see if that helps to alleviate some of Chris's symptoms.

So, all in all, this has been a good week for us! The biggest reason for that is due to the amazing support system we have in all of you and due to all of the prayers you've been sending up for Chris. We can't thank you enough for them and hope that you'll keep them coming!

Our next steps are waiting on the stomach biopsy results from the Endoscopy on Tuesday and waiting to hear if Chris is an embolization candidate. From there, we'll figure out our next steps to getting Chris feeling A LOT better, and back on track to that long, happy, normal life that we plan on living together!!

***And on a side note, if you've been wondering where all the pictures have been lately, my adorable toddler dropped my camera and shattered my 50mm lens last week. Having to go back to using the kit lens makes my heart weep. I suppose I'll eventually suck it up and throw that bad boy back on my camera, but until that 50mm has been replaced, photos might be a bit scarce for a little while!

Endoscopy

2009-02-10T16:38:00.003-05:00

Chris is home sleeping off the sedatives from his endoscopy this afternoon.

The good news is that the small intestines were clear!

There was some inflammation in the stomach, that, really, could be any number of things (including cancer), so they biopsied it and we should know more by the end of the week.

Tomorrow we're off to Sloan Kettering in NYC to see Dr. Meng again. We'll figure out what our next steps are in regards to treatment to keep those liver tumors from growing any more and we'll see what they can make (if anything) from the pictures/reports from today.

Continued prayers are welcomed always!

We'll be sure to update you all and let you know how tomorrow goes.

Our Visit With The GI Doc

2009-02-06T11:10:00.002-05:00

We met with the GI doctor this morning and won't really have any additional information until Chris has an endoscopy on Tuesday.

Dr. Levine said it may be tumor growth, but it may also be an ulcer or a number of other things.

We'll let you know what happens on Tuesday.

Please keep keeping Chris in your prayers!!

Our Very Own Picasso

2009-02-05T08:08:00.002-05:00

Results

2009-02-04T15:14:00.004-05:00

Dr. D. called this afternoon with the results from Chris's CT scan on Monday.

While it wasn't the best news, it could certainly be much worse.

There is some progression within the liver. In addition to that, the scan also showed some thickening of the small intestine. This may or may not be related to the cancer, but it is what's been causing Chris all the pain and it's also what has been making eating difficult for him.

So, the plan now is to see the GI doctor on Friday to address the thickening in the intestine. See if he can tell us what it is and how to fix it. Then, Dr. D. suggested we follow up with Sloan Kettering again so that we can find a way to stop the tumor growth in his liver. We are tentatively scheduled to go back to Sloan next Wednesday. We'll take it from there.

Continued prayers and good thoughts would be welcomed.

Thank you all for being our continued support system.

Our Visit With Dr. D.

2009-02-02T11:02:00.002-05:00

We saw Dr. D. this morning for our monthly appointment. Chris got his injection and left with a sore right cheek!

While we were there, Chris also told Dr. D about the stomach problems he's been having. Pain when he eats, feeling bloated afterwards, etc. Dr. D. said it sounds like something is blocking his stomach, and while it could be a number of things, the two most likely would be a bowel obstruction or disease progression.

Chris is going for a CT scan this afternoon and we're meeting with the GI doctor on Friday morning. I imagine we'll have the results of the CT scan before then, however.

Please keep Chris in your prayers this afternoon, and throughout the week. We'll be sure to keep you all updated.

Many thanks and much love.

Never A Dull Moment

2009-01-28T19:53:00.003-05:00

Things have been busy over here, that's for sure!

Chris had a rough couple of days on Sunday and Monday, but I think we're finally on the upswing now.

It was this time last month that he had a few really bad days, too. Could just be a coincidence, or not, but we're taking note.

His stomach really bothers him a lot of the time, he has a hard time eating. We've made an appointment for next Friday with the GI doctor that Chris saw back in October when all of this started, hopefully he'll have some suggestions for us. We're going to consult with a nutritionist as well, and see what they have to say.

We go back to see Dr. D. on Monday for his next monthly injection and we'll run everything by him as well.

It's rough seeing him so down and out. The stomach/digestive issues just take a lot out of him - and I'm sure the stress he's feeling about his job doesn't help matters either.

Please continue to keep him in your prayers. We're still just three months into this and we're still trying to figure it all out. The prayers are good all around - body, mind and spirit - so keep them coming!!

Much love and appreciation . . .

Shane's First Hockey Game

2009-01-23T09:22:00.002-05:00

So it may not have been the NY Rangers, but it was his first hockey game none the less!

A few weeks ago Dr. D's office called all 3 numbers that they had for us, trying to track us down. Let me tell you it's a bit nerve wracking when you realize your oncologist has called every number in the chart trying to find you! When we finally got in touch with each other we were relieved to hear that they were calling to offer us Dr. D's seats to the Soundtigers/Wolfpack game that Saturday! Dr. D. is the internist for the Soundtigers team, that is based in Bridgeport, they're the "minor league" team for the NY Islanders. As it turned out, this night they were playing the "minor league" team for the NY Rangers, the Hartford Wolfpack - how could we not go?!?!

So, at 6:30 at night, in the middle of a snow storm, we loaded our little family into the car and took off for the arena.

I think Shane's favorite part was watching the zambonie's clean the ice!! But we all had a great time and we were able to stay until 1/2 way through the 2nd period when Shane started to get tired (and cranky!)

Thanks, GramZ, for letting us take your point-and-shoot, so that we could capture these memories!!

Shane - in awe! Notice our first row seats!!! My boys, my heart.

We bribed him to be good in-between periods by getting him a treat! He clenched that cup like it was the last drink on Earth!!

Chris -

Total plug for Land's End here, but check out his ADORABLE snow boots in this shot! The front of the boot is the face of a bear! How stinkin' cute is that?!?!

On our way out of the arena:

Can I also say that our kid looks pretty stinkin' cute in his Rangers jersey! Great gift Rich & Lauren - thanks again!!

More Shane-isms

2009-01-22T15:23:00.003-05:00

"no toucha me, woof" = "listen dogs, leave my food alone"

rock-a-do-do = cockadoodledoo (from The Wiggles)

nomac gee = snowplow (don't ask!)

bye,bye car - ba? = "can we go for a ride in the car so I can watch Bob (the Builder)?"

"back night-night" = "I want to go back to bed so I can lay around like a prince and watch Toy Story all day"

Anything that has four legs and isn't a dog or a cat, is still a cow (or a pig) - and it still says "moo", unless it's a pig - then it says "pig".

Any time he falls or gets hurt (whether there's a boo-boo there or not), he'll tell us "boo, boo. Cars? Me?"= "I have a new boo-boo and I need a "Cars" band-aid so I can pull the backing off, look at it, stick it on my hand for a minute, pull it back off my hand, throw it out and then blame the whole things on the dogs, okay?"

Anytime either of us brushes our teeth we here "ME! TEETH!!". Could even be from across the house. Damn that noisy electric toothbrush!

****Hands off, folks! He's all ours!!!!****

A Visit From Aunt Trae

2009-01-21T10:12:00.002-05:00

Aunt Tracie braved the cold and came up from Florida for a few days right after Christmas to visit with us! We all had a fantastic time and it was great to see her - it had been over a year!!!

Family shot, taken after dinner to celebrate Papa's birthday (Photo credit to Grandma):
Daddy, GramZ, Papa and Aunt Trae (Photo credit to Grandma):

Yeah!!!! (Photo credit to Grandma)

Shane with GramZ and Papa - is he up to no good or what!?! (Photo credit to Grandma):

Shane and Aunt Trae (Photo credit to GramZ):

Hope to see you again soon, Aunt Trae!!!

A Few More From Christmas Day

2009-01-20T11:23:00.005-05:00

Christmas morning, to proove he did get toys other than the train table!! Daddy and Papa (photo credit to GramZ):

Our crazy little guy looking mighty cute in his train outfit! (Photo credit to GramZ)

Daddy & Shane (Photo credit to GramZ):

And one more from Christmas Eve! Santa's helpers putting together the train table! Thanks Daddy and Aunt Kate (Photo credit to GramZ):

My Dancing Fools

2009-01-16T13:17:00.002-05:00

A typical night at the O'Connor house!

Watching them interact like this completely melts my heart . . .

Christmas Eve

2009-01-15T08:55:00.002-05:00

Just a few snapshots of my boys on Christmas Eve. BOTH of them loved every second of opening up their gifts!!!

Like father, like son . . . they both love their books!

Shane with his Wiggles car -

AGAIN with the books!!!

And I think this look pretty much sums up Christmas for Shane:

Hope everyone enjoyed their holidays!

My (3rd) 29th Birthday

2009-01-13T13:49:00.003-05:00

Me & my (favorite!) helper:

He's so proud of himself!!With my boys:

Update

2009-01-12T11:23:00.003-05:00

We still have a good number of photos to share from our little holiday vacation - spending lots of time lounging around the house sort of lends itself to snapshots! But I thought I'd use today to update everyone on how we've been doing.

Chris has been doing really well. Christmas day was his last really bad day. Since then, he's started to take a daily Pepcid which has REALLY helped to control the majority of his stomach/digestive issues, which have always been his biggest complaint. The difference in him was noticeable between Christmas and New Years - he was looking better, he was feeling better and he was acting like his regular old self again - that week was heaven for me (and for him, too, I'm sure!) He got his 2nd monthly injection on Friday, January 2, and aside from a few "not so great" days following the injection, he's been doing really well again. This month has been going SO much better than last month - and we hope that continues to be the case. He's been out of bed more, he's been doing more, and the pain pills, with the rare exception, are finally starting to stay INSIDE of the bottle! Yippee!! Chris has also figured out that his eating habits have a lot to do with how he feels. He can't let his stomach get empty, and he can't eat too much at one time. Smaller, more frequent, meals seems to be the ticket to him feeling better. Needless to say, we're extremely happy that things seem to be going well and we're hoping that the problems he was having last month was just his body's way of adjusting to the new doseage of medication. Still, please continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers - they certainly don't hurt and do appear to be working!! His next Dr. appointment isn't until February 2nd, when he'll get his 3rd injection.

Our little guy is growing in leaps and bounds!! I swear that he's bigger everyday! His vocabulary has REALLY started to take off lately and he's even putting together lots of 3 and 4 word "sentences" - it's SO friggin adorable! He's at such a great age now - he's completely in love with his dogs, he has no problem telling you that he doesn't want to wear the shirt that you picked out for him and that he'd rather wear "this" one instead, he gets his shoes out of his closet, HE reminds US that he needs to wear a hat when he goes outside, he knows he'd rather be spending his days with Mommy and Daddy then going to visit his friends at daycare, he's decided to call his Grandpa "Papa" and to hear it come out of his mouth is the cutest thing ever (sorry, Grandma's!!!), he's such a good helper when it comes to feeding the dogs (or cutting their nails, or taking Zoe out on the leash, or giving them baths), he runs to get the phone when it rings - but no way will he answer it . . . he's just the best!!! He's the absolute joy of our life and we couldn't possibly be any more in love with him!!!

Even the dogs are doing well! Zoe's new (fishline) ACL is well on the way to being back to normal - despite the scare she gave us on Christmas Eve, and Kylee . . . well, Kylee is fine as long as someone is around to devote their undivided attention to her!!

This year has been good to us so far! Hopefully this trend continues! 2008 has a lot to make up for!!!

My Snow Babes

2009-01-09T11:35:00.002-05:00

His Favorite Christmas Present

2009-01-08T14:02:00.003-05:00

"Finally!" - that's what you're all thinking right now, isn't it?! I know, I know - I've been pretty bad lately about updating the blog, but life has been hectic. I promise to post an update tomorrow, but today I'll cut to the chase and give you all what you're really for - a few pictures!!

Santa brought a train table for Shane this year! Saying he LOVES it is the understatement of the century! It's, by far, his favorite gift of the season and the look of joy on his face when he plays with it just warms our hearts!

Mommy & Daddy set up a pretty basic track on Christmas Eve and have already purchased some additional pieces and have played with quite a few layouts!

Hello, Thomas! Christmas morning, after the table was moved into his playroom!

The determination just kills me!

And by the next day, Daddy was just as excited about it as Shane was!

So hard at work, my boys!

Have I mentioned how much I love these two???

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T10:27:00.002-05:00

We've all been off from work and daycare and have been enjoying some much needed, relaxing, family time! It's been wonderful! And to say we're all dreading getting back into the daily grind come Monday is an understatement!

We all enjoyed the holidays and we have tons of pictures to share once our little vacation comes to an end in a few days.

Chris has a follow up with Dr. D. tomorrow afternoon and he'll also get his 2nd monthly injection - so keep your fingers crossed, and keep us in your prayers, for a good report from the doctor's.

Here's to 2009 - hopefully a much better, happier and healthier year for all of us . . .

Countdown To Christmas

2008-12-22T09:25:00.004-05:00

We're counting down the days until "hoo-hoo" comes to our house and leaves toys under the tree for a certain good little boy.

2008 hasn't exactly been a banner year for us. We battled with infertility - and lost, we got a cancer diagnosis, Chris's employer had to cut back hours (and wages) due to the economic crisis and we're feeling the pinch just like everyone else - but we still feel we have a lot to be thankful for this holiday season. We're still here. We still have each other, we love each other more than ever and Chris has been feeling pretty great these last few days. It's with these positive thoughts and happenings that we look forward to 2009. We hope the new year will open it's arms, welcome us in, embrace us and protect us from anything "unpleasant" that the year may have otherwise had in store for us. We're ready for a break.

But for now, we're ready for sleighbells. And the glees and wide-eyed wonder that will shine from within our 2.5 year old on Christmas morning. We're sending this year off on a high note and we're hopeful for what 2009 has in store. And we'll be sure to leave cookies and milk for that jolly man in the red suit. Cookies never hurt anyone, anyway.

Merry Christmas! We love, and are grateful for, each and every one of you.

Our Crazy Monkey

2008-12-17T08:41:00.001-05:00

Wanna come over?

Update To Our Update

2008-12-16T08:35:00.004-05:00

Chris ended up seeing another dr. at the practice he goes to (Dr. D was out yesterday) and he said the pain that Chris has been feeling on the left side is still his liver - even though the pain had always been on the right side (apparently it's a LONG organ). They sent him for bloodwork this morning to see where his numbers are at.

The bloodwork from a few weeks ago came back ok (from what I understand - I wasn't at this appt - his parents went with him) and it may just be that this monthly injection isn't going to work out for him. If that's the case, he may have to go back to the 3x/day injections, or perhaps another "combination" of doseages will work - we'll just have to wait and see.

Things are still up in the air, and will be until we get the bloodwork back and Chris talks to Dr. D again. But it does all appear to be "more of the same" - which of course is far better than having it be something new.

Just keep sending those prayers his way!

Much love and appreciation. Always.

Update

2008-12-15T09:14:00.002-05:00

This last week has been a rough one for Chris. He's spent much of his time either in bed because he was tired or lying around because he was in pain. It's tough to see him like that.

He's got an appointment with the oncologist's office this afternoon.

Please continue to keep him in your prayers.

Peace

2008-12-12T09:25:00.006-05:00

There's nothing more peaceful and calming than a blanket of white snow - right up until you unleash 2 dogs and a toddler into that nice, fluffy, blanket anyway!

We woke up Sunday morning to our first snowfall of the season - and this year (unlike THIS from last year), Shane couldn't wait to get outside and see what it was all about!

When his eyes find the right light, they are truly AMAZING:
Our sweet little face:

Different kind of processing for me on this one - a bit "vintagey" - not sure how I feel about it. I think I'm missing the vibrant color (or my "go-to", peaceful black and white):

Ankle deep in the snow - and (seemingly) loving it!

Just a few shots of some of the snow covered trees in our yard:

And there you have it! A post a day for a week, and NO cancer talk (plenty on that next week) - what a welcomed change!

Our Baby

2008-12-11T08:27:00.003-05:00

I swear that these first two belong in a J. Crew catalog!!! Assuming they had a catalog for children of course!!!

And these last few I fondly refer to as "the same, but different"! I love that little face too much to be able to choose a favorite - so I'm sharing them all!

LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!

Wrapping Things Up

2008-12-10T08:20:00.004-05:00

Just a few more from our holiday get-together over the weekend!

Dinner with the girls!!
Poor Kevin! He and Paul were such troopers though - thanks, guys!!
Mommy & Shane:

And a few from our visit to Jones' Family Farms to get our Christmas tree!

"Mama!!! Choo, Choo!!!!"

Our little conductor!

Santa's little helper!

Not to worry, - this isn't the end of the photos! I've got tons to share tomorrow of Shane playing outside on Saturday and of him enjoying our first snowfall of the season early Sunday morning - stay tuned!

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town . . .

2008-12-09T08:20:00.002-05:00

Saturday we had our first holiday gathering of the season!

Sullivans, Finns - it's always so nice to get together with you guys. We always have SO much fun and it's great to see Shane play with all of his cousins! Thank you all for making the trip up to CT - we certainly loved having you!

Here comes Santa Claus!!

Shane wants no part of Santa - regardless of who's inside the suit!! He barely even LOOKED at him long enough to get the present that Santa had brought for him -

And when I passed Shane over to Santa so I could grab my camera, all hell broke loose!!

And the only way he would take our family picture with Santa was if we stood as far away from Santa as possible!

Santa's pretty cute, huh?!?!

Look at our poor little boy! Is he scarred for life, or what?!

He started to warm up to Santa just as things were winding down and Santa was getting ready to leave -

But he still had to keep an eye on him! I don't think Shane trusted the big, jolly guy at all!

Santa with all of the kids - notice who's missing from the picture??

I think it's safe to say that MOST of us are looking forward to doing it again next year!!

A Taste Of Things To Come

2008-12-08T08:25:00.002-05:00

An incredibly fun weekend means LOTS of new and fun pictures to share! It actually felt REALLY good to get behind the camera again. It's been a while!

I'll share pictures later in the week that show how Shane REALLY feels about Santa! But this is how Shane feels about him right before it's time for Santa to leave!!!

SSShhhhh!! Shane didn't happen to notice that Daddy was the only one NOT around when Santa stopped by!!! (WINK, WINK, HINT, HINT!!)

Shane-isms

2008-12-04T14:47:00.003-05:00

Just little things that I don't ever want to forget:

*Snowman = "NoMac"

*Man = "Mac" (go figure!)

*Santa = "HooHoo" (think owl, not Ho Ho Ho!!)

*Glass = "ass" (we ask him to say glass ALL the time now!!)

*"Catch a ball" = his new favorite saying

*Truck (has always been, and will probably always be) = "Gee"

*McDonalds and/or Eat and/or chicken nuggets and/or hungry and/or lunch and/or dinner = "dodtch" (we haven't quite figured this one out, but if "gee" is "truck" we're totally screwed!)

*He looks up in the sky for the "moon" every night as we walk to the car after I pick him up from daycare

*He tells us he's going to do "nice" to the dogs (as opposed to "not nice", which is what he normally does!) and then he'll go up to them and give them a kiss and a pat on the head (Zoe's gotten a lot of "nice"since coming home with her leg wrapped up from hip to toe!)

*He'll open the fridge to help himself to a yogurt and go into the drawer and look for "poon" (which is really a fork!). When his yogurt is done, both the container and the "poon" go into either the sink or the garbage can! (Since he figured out how to open the fridge we go through twice as much yogurt in a week and we end up having to buy new toddler flatware MUCH more often!)

*Everything is "Stuck". If he wants out of his carseat, he tells us he's "stuck". If he can't open a drawer, he tells us it's "stuck". If he can't get a book off the bookcase, it's "stuck". And if you've ever seen "Elmo Saves Christmas", then Santa is "stuck" in the chimney and Lightning is stuck in Santa's sack!

We LOVE this cutie of ours!!!

***And two posts in one day, how about that??***

Oncologist Update (And Our 200th Post)

2008-12-04T14:36:00.004-05:00

Today marks the day that Chris was oficially "taken off" his daily injection schedule and put on a monthly one!

He had his first monthly injection today and his next "needle apointment" isn't until January 2!

Dr. Dressler (we'll call him Dr. D from here on out on the blog) came in and asked how Chris was doing. We happily told him that the liver and shoulder pain he had been having was gone and Dr. D looked at us and said "That's often the best indicator that this stuff is doing it's job" - FANTASTIC NEWS!!!! He then examined Chris and as a smile spread across his face, I knew he had good news for us! Chris's liver was "NORMAL"! It had been swolen and that was now gone! He even passed the stethoscope to Chris so that he could hear what a normal liver sounds like! (Bet you didn't know a liver made any kind of sound - neither did we until today). They drew some blood to check his liver functions, but we could tell that he wasn't expecting much of anything to show up! Still, we'll breathe a LOT easier once we get those results back!

All in all - a great day today and we're happily looking forward to the holiday season that's quickly approaching!

As always, your continued prayers are wanted, and appreciated. It's VERY obvious that someone up there is listening!

***************************

Sometimes it really is the little things that make you smile!

This post marks the 200th post of our blog! Trust me when I tell you that when we started this blog a year and half ago, if someone had asked me when I thought we'd be posting our 200th post I would've said "Never!" But, life happens and those happenings need to be documented!

Looking forward to our 400th post!

Poor Zoe

2008-12-03T11:33:00.004-05:00

Chris dropped Zoe off at the vet this morning so that she could be sedated so that the vet could take an x-ray of her leg.

Her ACL was completely ruptured!

The vet did the surgery and repaired her ACL and as I post this, Zoe is in the process of waking up from the anesthesia.

We're hoping she'll be able to come home tonight, but the vet tech said that they will often keep dogs overnight after an ACL repair because it is a difficult surgery to recover from.

Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery for our little pup and that she's back at home with us tonight.

I see lots of lovin' in Zoe's future!!! And even though Kylee wouldn't admit it, she's home missing her sister right now!

Ten On Tuesday - Our Week In Review

2008-12-02T09:40:00.005-05:00

1) First and foremost, today's is Chris's last day of the daily injections 3x/day! He'll meet with Dr. Dressler (our local oncologist) on Thursday and will be setup on a schedule for the monthly injections! He did great during this 2 week period, but it's starting to get to him. He's also running out of places to stick himself! 42 injections in 14 days is a lot! His poor belly has a ton of black and blue spots all over it!

2) Our poor little Zoe girl is hobbling around on 3 legs right now! She slipped on the wood floor in the family room a little over 2 weeks ago and limped for a day or two. She then seemed better for a few days and started to limp again a bit here and there. We took her to the vet a week ago and he thought everything felt okay and gave us some pills for her. This past Friday night she started limping pretty badly and has been favoring her rear, right leg pretty heavily. She's keeping it up most of the time and is hopping around on one rear leg - she's completely breaking our hearts!! Chris took her back to the vet yesterday and they want to take an x-ray. Because Zoe is so frightend at the vet's office and spends the whole time she's there trying to leave, they'll need to sedate her in order to take an x-ray and play around with her leg - so she's going back to the vet tomorrow morning for all of that. Hopefully she'll be back on 4 legs really soon!

3) We had a great Thanksgiving this year and we were able to stay local, which was nice! We hit a lot of traffic coming back from Long Island last year, so it was nice not to have to deal with that again. We were able to spend Thanksgiving at my mom's with ALMOST both of our entire families together (we missed you Aunt Trae!) which was great. We certainly have a lot to be thankful for this year, but we're already secretly hoping that 2009 has better things in store for us than 2008 did!

4) The day after Thanksgiving, we made our annual trip out to Jones' Tree Farm to get our Christmas tree! We even managed to select the perfect size tree this year! Normally we end up with a tree that's far too big for the spot we have to put it! Shane is still trying to figure out what a tree is doing in our family room!

5) We took Shane to see Santa a few weeks ago and for the first time he cried when we sat him down on Santa's lap! This will be his 3rd Christmas, and the first where he's starting to understand things and is actually getting into the holiday spirit - but he could do without the big, jolly guy in the red suit!

6) Shane's new favorite thing to do is to find anything shaped like a ball (it could be an apple, an ornament, an orange - he doesn't care!), throw it across the room he's standing in and then yell at one of us to "catch a ball"!!! Too cute! If we could only get him to actually try to throw the "ball" towards us, instead of away of us!

7) I finally forced myself to get a "holiday-ish" picture of Shane on Sunday and then sat down and did our Christmas cards. Certainly not my best effort, but it's a card none the less! So keep your eye on your mailbox in the coming weeks!

8) The holiday season is totally upon us! We've done NO shopping and NO baking! Normally, by now, we're done with both of these things! We do have our first holiday gathering this coming Saturday with the Sullivan and Finn clans and we couldn't be more excited! We're ready for some holiday cheer around here! There was even a rumor that Santa might stop by!!!

9) Bedtime has become a 4 letter word at our house! We start our bedtime routine around 7:30 with a bath. 3 hours later Shane is FINALLY asleep! He'll do anything and everything he can to avoid going to bed! We finally had to start putting a baby gate up in his doorway to keep him from coming out of his room (we do take it down when we go to bed so he could get to us during the night if he had to) and even this doesn't deter him! Last night I found him sitting in the rocker in his room watching his Sesame Street Christmas Carol DVD!!! Did I mention that he now knows how to use the remotes???

10) Shane LOVES to help out with the dogs lately! He helps me feed them dinner by scooping out the dry food from the bin and putting it into their bowls (and I'd be lying if I said he didn't help himself to some dry food while he was at it!) and he'll then run out into the garage and bring me in a can of wet food to mix into their bowls! He'll also let the dogs in and out of the slider when they're looking to go outside! And when HE thinks it's time for them to come back in, he'll open the slider and stand there calling for them by yelling "Woof!", "Woof!" - cutest thing ever! He doesn't call for them by name, or even by calling for "doggie". He simply calls for his "woofs!" We are SO in love with this little boy of ours!

Finally

2008-11-25T06:13:00.002-05:00

We FINALLY got GOOD news yesterday!!!

The oncologist's office called and the CT scan that Chris had done of his upper chest last week came back CLEAN!!!!

That means that the cancer only appears to be in his liver (and wherever that primary tumor is hiding out)!!

Thank you all SO much for your prayers! It is obvious they are working! Please keep them coming!!!

The Loves Of My Life

2008-11-24T10:11:00.002-05:00

2.5 Year Well Visit

2008-11-21T12:36:00.002-05:00

I took Shane to the pediatrican today for his 2.5 year well visit. Our baby is getting SO big!!

Height - 3ft (!!!!) and 3/4" - 75th percentile
Weight - 31 lbs - also 75th percentile
Head circumference - 52 - 95th percentile (he's ALWAYS had a large head!!)

He did well, especially when he got his flu shot. He shed a few tears during the exam, and after he got his shot, and he was especially "clingy" (he's at the age where he knows full well where he is) but despite all that, he did really well!

The doctor is impressed with his development, though they are still concerned about his speech. They'd like for us to consider seeing a speech therapist because he barely said anything the entire time we were with the doctor, yet the second the doctor left the room our little chatterbox was back in full swing!

We're not sure what we're going to do in regards to speech therapy. We've actually been rather impressed and pleased with his language development these last 6 months. He's saying all kinds of things now and this morning even told me "Bless You, Ma" after I sneezed! I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get him evaluated, again, and I'm sure that's the route we'll end up taking.

Our little guy is growing up WAY too fast. The next time we go to the doctor he'll be THREE!!!

If Only He Were A Drug Addict . . .

2008-11-20T08:18:00.004-05:00

It sure would make the daily injections (x3) that much easier for him to adminster to himself!

4 injections down and 38 to go, as Chris puts it! He's doing well! He had his first injection yesterday morning at the oncologist's office and then a visiting nurse came over yesterday afternoon and last night to walk him through the process and then this morning he did it entirely on his own!

Who knew we'd ever be so excited to see Chris successfully shooting himself up! Every wife's dream, I'm sure!

The CT scan went well, too. VERY quick, which Chris liked after those 3+ hour scans a few weeks ago. I'd imagine we'd have the results back in a couple of days and hopefully we'll get good news on that front.

Keep those prayers coming!!

Clearing Hurdles

2008-11-19T08:11:00.004-05:00

We're jumping two more hurdles this morning as we start down the new road we're traveling - and we're hoping to clear both of them with flying colors!!

This morning Chris is going in for an upper body CT scan to take a closer look at a "questionable" spot on his lung. After that he'll go back to the oncologist's office where they will administer his first Octreotide injection! This afternoon a visiting nurse will come to the house and show Chris (and Jerry!) how to administer the injections himself. He'll be giving himself 3 injections a day for 2 weeks. After that, he'll go into the oncologist's office once a month for a long lasting injection. Hopefully, he'll be feeling more like his old self in no time!

Prayers for a clear CT scan and no adverse reactions to the Octreotide would be GREATLY appreciated!

We'll be sure to let you all know how it goes. Thanks for thinking of us and for keeping us in your prayers.

Bath Time Twist

2008-11-18T08:12:00.003-05:00

Last night I go to start Shane's bath water like I do every night. Grandma Lin was in the playroom straightening up and I was in the bedroom getting his bed and pj's ready for night-night time.

I go to get Shane, so that I could get him un-dressed and get him in the tub - bedtime is a long enough process around here, so why stretch it out any longer than needed?!?!?!

Well, I found Shane alright. And this is what we saw . . .

He got in the tub, on his own, fully dressed!! Well, ALMOST!

Complete with ONE sneaker on!

That's our boy!!!!

Three Opinions, One Plan

2008-11-13T12:37:00.002-05:00

Our trip to NYC yesterday proved to be very beneficial.

Not only did we meet a few additional caring, compassionate and knowledgeable doctors, specialists really, but both teams agreed completely with the diagnosis and treatment plan that we were given on Friday by our local oncologist! To us, that was fantastic news!!

The doctor's at Sloan (whom we honestly loved) even said that they've had patients with this cancer, living with it for decades - DECADES!! That this type of cancer CAN be more of a chronic illness, as opposed to a terminal one! Again - GREAT news!

We left NY feeling hopeful, which is more than you can ask for when dealing with cancer.

Now, our only goal is to get Chris to be part of the group of patients living for decades with this cancer, and we'll jump that first hurdle sometime next week when he starts his Octreotide treatment.

I know we've asked for an awful lot of prayers these last few weeks, but they're obviously working - we know all too well how much worse this could all be for us right now - but none the less, I'm asking for your continued prayers (and I'm not beyond begging either!!) Please continue to pray for Chris. Pray that he responds well to the Octreotide and that the medication works to control the disease. The goal is to either shrink the tumors or to keep them the size they are now. Pray that that happens for us. We've got a lot of life left to live, and we still plan on doing that together!

From the very bottom of our hearts, thank you. Thank you for your support, your prayers, your encouragement. It all means more than you could ever know. Our life took a drastic turn 2 weeks ago, and while we miss that old carefree life something awful, we know we'll adjust to this new direction - and we've got an INCREDIBLE support system behind us to help along the way. For that, we are eternally grateful.

Second Opinions

2008-11-11T09:35:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow we're off to NYC to visit with specialists at Sloan-Kettering and at Cornell.

Fingers crossed for lots of good news!!

Hopefully, after our appointments tomorrow, we can formulate a treatment plan and get the ball rolling.

Please keep those prayers coming - they're what's keeping us going.

Toot, Toot! Chugga, Chugga!

2008-11-10T14:40:00.005-05:00

On Saturday, November 1, Chris and I took Shane to Oakdale to see:

The 4 of them came out on stage in the Big Red Car (coolest entrance ever!!):

To which Shane replied:

Disco Wiggles! Complete with Captain Feathersword and Dorothy the Dinosaur!!

Daddy, Mommy & Shane:

Fruit Salad. Yummy, Yummy!

The Beatles? No! It's the Wiggles!

It's too bad Shane didn't get into it!!! (enter sarcasm here)

Daddy & Shane:

Yeah, Wiggles!!!!

We're already looking into our next family event! This is going to be hard to top!!

Breathe

2008-11-07T14:51:00.004-05:00

We met with our local oncologist this morning and while the news wasn't as good as we would've liked, it certainly wasn't worse case scenario either. But really, the only news we wanted to hear was that this was all a huge mistake and that they were sorry!!! So all in all, we're considering ourselves lucky.

Essentially, this is just not something that we can cure. The good news, if there is ever good news when it comes to cancer, is that the oncologist we met with today is hopeful that we can control this cancer with monthly injections of a drug called Octreotide and that Chris will lead a long, normal life. How long? They don't know. Which is the worst part about all of this. This cancer will be following us around the rest of our lives, but at least we were told to continue living that life as normally as we are now. Obviously there are some changes ahead of us. No more drinking or smoking. We'll be making dietary changes going forward. And perhaps the biggest change, or adjustment, for us is getting used to the idea that Shane will be an only child. Which, for me at least, is a tough pill to swallow.

Are we happy with the news we got? Yes. We certainly feel better today than we did yesterday. Are we still terrified of the future? Sure, but isn't everyone? But the fact that we were told that we have a future, together, is all the hope we need.

Thank you all for your prayers. Please keep them coming over these next few weeks while we continue gathering information, meeting with doctors and forming a treatment plan. We're going into NYC on Wednesday to meet with specialists from Sloan-Kettering and from Cornell. We could use all the support we could get and we've certainly got a great support system behind us.

We've learned a lot about ourselves, about life, over these last few weeks. A scare like this makes you realize what's really important. Suddenly you just don't care to make room, or time, for all the bullshit anymore. Priorities start to fall in order and living takes on a whole other meaning.

For that, and for that alone, I owe thanks to cancer.

Tomorrow

2008-11-06T08:45:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is one of our first hurdles in getting around this newly formed traffic jam in the road of our life.

Tomorrow is our first appointment with a local oncologist. Tomorrow we're hoping to get more answers. We're hoping to learn what the body scans Chris had done Tuesday and Wednesday show. We're hoping to learn where the original tumor is located. We're hoping to get an idea as to where we go from here, what our next steps are.

We could really use all the prayers and positive thoughts that you can muster up and send our way. This is a big appointment for us and we're really hoping for good, encouraging news - with a speedy treatment plan to boot! (Ok, we're willing to budge on the "speedy" part in order to get the "good and encouraging" part).

My point? Please keep us in your thoughts today and tomorrow and pray for nothing but good news!

We're hoping to get through this traffic jam and back to our regular driving (although we plan on our "new" regular driving to be MUCH safer) in no time at all.

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

Crazed Fan

2008-11-05T08:38:00.004-05:00

He's always been a fan of the Wiggles, but lately he's been more of a crazed fan! Copying their dance moves and trying to "sing" along with them to his favorite songs. Every morning he comes into the playroom, turns on the TV, puts in his favorite Wiggles video, and hits play. It's all smiles from there on out. NOTHING gets his attention like that Wiggles do. . .

Dancing along -
Chris and I took our Wiggles fan to see them live and in person last Saturday. They were playing at a theater about 30 minutes from home and we couldn't pass up the opportunity. The three of us had a fantastic time - and we've got pictures (SHHH!!) to prove it! Stay tuned -

My Boys, My Heart

2008-11-04T16:32:00.001-05:00

Halloween

2008-11-03T08:20:00.002-05:00

This year for Halloween, Shane was SUPPOSED to be cookie monster. Or, perhaps I should say, he would've been cookie monster if he had actually let us put him in the costume!

Wouldn't even put one leg inside the costume. Not even ONE leg! So, there was no trick or treating for us this year. And to make this worse, the first bunch of trick or treaters we had were older kids wearing scary masks. Shane ran to me with tears streaming down his face, and once he reached me, he clung to my leg like the devil himself was standing at our front door.

So, these few pictures that we have from pumpkin picking are as Halloween as Halloween got at our house this year.

Maybe 3.5 year olds like Halloween more than 2.5 year olds do. We'll find out next year!

Time Out

2008-10-30T11:43:00.003-04:00

Our reason for living. For loving. For fighting.

Forging Ahead

2008-10-29T15:24:00.002-04:00

Neither one of us has ever been very good at sitting by and watching life pass us by - and things certainly aren't going to be any different now.

We may have an obstacle ahead of us, but it's one we plan to live our lives around, not by.

We certainly never expected to have cancer show up at our doorstep, let alone invite itself in and take residence. We're in our 30's, with a 2 year old son, and that just doesn't happen to people like us. At least it shouldn't. But then again, who *should* cancer happen to???

But we can't let our fear run the course for us. It would completely overwhelm us if we did.

So our plan? Our plan is to push the fear back. Sure it may seap out from time to time, but that's okay. We'll deal with it in those fleeting moments, and then we'll forge ahead again.

Living life is what we do. And we plan on doing that, together, for a long, long time.

Diagnosis

2008-10-28T14:47:00.003-04:00

Cancer.

Neuroendocrine tumor.

The doctor's appear optimistic and we're trying to follow suit.

We won't know more until Chris has the body scan the first half of next week.

Your prayers are needed, and appreciated.

Thawing Out

2008-10-27T15:42:00.011-04:00

Our lives have been frozen for the last 10 days.

Less than a week after our 4 year wedding anniversary my husband's body decided to test the "in sickness and in health" vow, to the maximum.

What started as a diagnosis of an inflamed gallbladder in the ER less than two weeks ago, quickly progressed into the deepest, darkest week and a half that we've ever known.

********

The day after our visit to the ER, Chris followed up with the surgeon that was referred to us by the ER doctor. He called, and an appointment was scheduled for later that afternoon.

A few hours after making that appointment, the surgeon's office called back. By now, they had seen the reports and ultrasound images from the hospital and they felt that Chris should be consulting a Gastroenterologist, not a surgeon. Not now. They also felt that the Gastroenterologist should be starting with an organ other than the gallbladder, they thought they should be looking at the liver.

Chris called the Gastroenterologist referred to us by the surgeon and an appointment was scheduled for late in the afternoon on Friday.

On Friday, we went to the appointment with the GI doc and 20 minutes later we were heading back to the hospital for an immediate CT scan of Chris's abdomen and pelvis. This is when our stomach's started to drop, when our lives began to freeze.

We waited out the weekend and after a few rounds of phone tag, Chris and the GI doctor finally touched base late Monday afternoon. They wanted to do a liver biopsy. There were lesions on Chris's liver and we needed to know what they were, and what was causing them. The biopsy was scheduled for the following morning.

After a long, restless night, we got up Tuesday morning, dropped our only son off at daycare for the day, and headed, once again, back to the hospital. Zita came with us this time and became the moral support we both needed to get through the day.

Chris was quickly put through the admitting process and Zita and I sat with him as he laid in his bed in Short Stay (outpatient procedures) - waiting. One of the doctor's from the Radiology department (where the biopsy would be done) came in and explained to us the reason for the biopsy. The appearance of Chris's liver wasn't what you would expect to see in a 39 year old man. If Chris was 30 years older, it wouldn't have been so shocking. In an older man, the liver lesions that Chris had, would normally have been thought to have been cancer which had spread from another site. These two issues were the big causes for concern and were the reason that the biopsy was going to be done. The doctor also explained that these lesions could also just be cysts (among other things, I'm sure) and this was the diagnosis that we were hoping for. Praying for.

An hour after the doctor left, Chris was taken to the CT room for his biopsy. Zita and I left to wait it out.

50 minutes later, my cell phone rang and it was the Short Stay nurse saying that Chris was done and was back in his "room". Zita and I went and sat with him for the required 2 hours until he would be discharged.

All in all, Chris said the biopsy wasn't bad. Some pressure, a few moments of discomfort, but far better, and far less painful than he had anticipated. Even the days following the biopsy, his biggest complaint was being sore.

We were discharged from the hospital shortly after 3pm that afternoon, knowing that the longest 3 days of our lives laid out ahead of us. If we were lucky, we'd have the results by Friday.

Those 3 days were far more lengthy, and far more difficult, than I could have ever imagined. All the while you're hoping for the best possible outcome, while at the same time, trying to keep the images of the worst case scenario out of your head. It's an ugly mind game. It's emotionally and physically draining. It's sleepless night, after sleepless night. And finally, that day comes. The day you've been both dreading and waiting for all week, the day when you'll find out what direction your life heads in next.

The call finally comes through and all you're told, all you're really told, is that you'll have to continue to wait. The doctor explained on Friday afternoon that the pathologist just didn't have a diagnosis yet. That there was more testing to be done. That they hope to know more for sure by Monday afternoon and that we should probably just schedule and appointment for Tuesday morning.

4 more days. 4 more days of waiting. 4 more days of wanting to be elated that "no news is good news", that the worse case scenario should probably be behind you. 4 more days to think that if it really was something THAT bad, that surely they would've known it by now, but being too afraid to let too much hope seep in, there were no guarantees, no promises. It's a lonely, lonely path - even when you walk it together.

So we continue to wait. And tomorrow we find out where we go next.

No John Stamos In This ER

2008-10-16T09:44:00.003-04:00

At 10pm last night Chris walked into the family room and said something just "wasn't right" - and he wanted to go to the ER. He had been complaining of a pain in his side on and off for the last two months and came home from work last night complaining that his shoulder was KILLING him.

By 10pm last night, the pain from both were so bad that he just couldn't take it anymore - so off to St. Vincent's we went.

Turns out his gallbladder is inflamed. No active infection, just "sludge" (ER doc's word, not mine). She said that "sludge" (or "mud") would cause the same pain that an infected gallbladder would cause. It was determined that this is the cause of the pain he'd been having off and on in his side for the last few months and apparently, the shoulder pain is referred pain from the inflamed gallbladder.

At 3:30am they sent us on our way with instructions for a low fat diet, a referral for a surgeon and a prescription for pain killers.

We got home just before 4 (thanks to Aunt Kate and Grandma for being such troopers and haning out with the little guy!!) and crawled right into bed, and without fail, our 2 year old alarm clock was up at 6:11am!

It's going to be one of those days!

No Da?

2008-10-15T10:04:00.003-04:00

Chris is working lots of overtime this week. He leaves the house just after 5am and gets home a little before 7pm.

Needless to say, Shane misses Daddy.

This morning he woke up in bed with me (another post for another time!) and ran into his room calling "Da, Da?" fully expecting to find his Daddy in his big boy bed, except Daddy wasn't there.

I could hear Shane start to climb up the little step stool that he uses to get in and out of his bed, so I quickly turned the video monitor around so I could see what he was up to!

Poor little boy climbed into his bed and crawled all the way down to his pillow, looking for his Daddy all the while, I imagine. When he reached his pillow and realized Daddy wasn't in his bed, his eyes looked a little teary, his mouth a little droopy, and he simply said "No Da". Deflated. Completely deflated.

Poor little boy. Imagine how excited he'll be next week when Daddy's back to his regular schedule!

I see a lot of father/son bonding time happening this weekend!

Tisk, Tisk, Tisk

2008-10-14T15:47:00.008-04:00

Once again I find myself catching up with pictures that are almost a month old! Sooner or later I'm figuring that life will stop being so busy, right?!

Getting a glimpse of freedom:
A bit blurry, but SO Shane! Run and run and run and run - that is all he does!
Sweet, sweet, Kylee. And check out that bokeh!!

On another note, Shane is getting braver and braver when it comes to leaving his room at night! Until recently, if he woke up in the middle of the night (or even when we put him down) and he wanted one of us, he would get out of his bed, stand in front of his (closed) door and cry - blanket and sucker in hand. He'd stand there waiting for one of us to come get him.

Yeah, no more. . .

Yesterday morning Chris and I were awoken, not by an alarm clock, but by the sound of something hitting our bedroom floor. Upon further investigation, we found Shane standing in our doorway armed with an arsenal of suckers. One by one he was tossing them into our room (probably aiming for the poor dogs alseep on their dog beds)! Then, last night, about an hour after we put Shane down to bed, Chris and I were sitting on the couch trying to catch up on the 60+ shows we've got waiting for us on our DVR. We thought we had heard something but quickly dismissed it. We were fairly certain Shane was fast asleep by now and the dogs were in the family room with us. Another few minutes into the show and again we thought we heard something. This time we decided to check things out and as soon as we walked by the pass through into the kitchen we found the culprit. Our son, in all his night time glory (pjs, blanket, sucker) was sitting on the kitchen floor playing in the tupperware drawer! So much for being fast asleep, and so much for our stealth guard dogs!

Is too late to put him back in his crib?!?!

We Did

2008-10-09T15:21:00.002-04:00

To my husband:

It's amazing how quickly these last 4 years have gone by. It's strange to think back and remember where we were in our life together then, compared to where we are now, and where we hope to be when 5 years have quickly gone by.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I got to marry my best friend. These 4 years have been incredible and I look forward to seeing what the next 40 (and then some!) have in store for us.

I feel blessed to be able to say that I love you more now than I did on our wedding day and I'm confident that I'll only love you more as these years run by us.

You are my light. My life. Thank you.

I love you.

Your wife

Dinner With The Girls

2008-10-08T11:15:00.003-04:00

Once every month or two, my two best friends and I try to get together for dinner. It's a night of girl talk and laughter, a time to sit down and catch up when life seems to be getting the best of us. It's become a tradition of sorts, and it's one the 3 of us look forward to.

This "girls night" was a bit more special than those we've had in the past, this was the first "dinner with the girls" for baby Brady. Brady is now a little more than month old and still the apple of his Mommy and Daddy's eyes. Even Shane got a kick out of sitting around and watching him (sleep, mostly!) and every time Brady cried (which wasn't all that often!!) Shane became incredibly curious and wanted to know what the problem was.

But Shane still won't let me hold Brady! Actually, I think if he had his way, he wouldn't let me in the same room as Brady! Little does he know that I snuck in a little baby lovin' while he wasn't looking!

Baby Brady in all his full tummy glory!
"Ok, so maybe he isn't so bad after all!"
Cin and Kate with Brady:
Shhh! Don't tell Shane!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Another Saturday, Another Nap . . . Sort Of

2008-10-07T08:20:00.002-04:00

Maybe one of these days he'll get it right . . . maybe.

Flashback

2008-10-06T09:52:00.003-04:00

For fun . . . because I'm feeling a bit nostalgic today!

Taken before my dSLR and photoshop days!!!!

From this week, 2006:

A Nap! Finally! Kind Of . . .

2008-09-29T11:13:00.003-04:00

Shane hasn't napped once since we switched him over to his big boy bed 3 weeks ago.

We tried a new approach this weekend. Instead of calling it "nap time", we called it "quiet time". Essentially, it's some "down" time in his room with the hopes that he'd eventually fall asleep.

Well it worked! Kind of. Just before dinner on Saturday I walked into Shane's room to check on him and found him asleep, in his chair! Cutest thing on earth, but seeing as how it was 5pm, we couldn't let him continue sleeping! So we woke him up and thought we'd try it again on Sunday.

Well, it didn't work yesterday, but it did work this morning! Shane is, as I type this, successfully napping in his big boy bed!

Way to go, buddy!!

These cutie shots are from Saturday evening before we woke up the little guy:

5 On Friday - The Getting Back On Track Edition

2008-09-26T09:56:00.007-04:00

1). It's been a long, busy week and it's looking to be an even longer weekend filled with LOTS of rain! Do you know what it's like to have to keep a VERY active 2 year old cooped up indoors all weekend because it's raining outside? Especially an active 2 year old that doesn't nap anymore!!! Any idea as to how much of a challenge that is?!?! We do plan on visiting our beloved Stepping Stones at least one of the 2 days, but that'll only kill about 3 hours - if we're lucky!! I'd love your suggestions, thoughts, ideas on other things we could do this weekend that keep us from playing in the rain and that don't break the bank! What do you have for me?!?!

2). I'm sad to admit I haven't picked up the camera in well over a week now. :-( I've been in a photography slump and I'm not entirely sure why. I do plan to remedy that situation while we're cooped up inside this weekend. I have plans to re-read Understanding Exposure (great book and I highly reccomend it to anyone wanting to know the basics of photography) and practice, practice, practice on my favorite subject - Shane!!! Hopefully I'll have some shots to show off next week that are better than what I've shared lately. Though I prefer natural light, refuse to use the onboard flash, and don't currently own a speedlight . . . so I'm not sure how awesome these indoor pictures on a gloomy, rainy weekend will be!

3). The Wiggles have ALWAYS held a special place in Shane's heart, but lately he's been REALLY enjoying them! This morning, as I sat on the couch drinking my coffee and admiring my 2 year old, Shane was busy dancing along with the Wiggles and mimicking their "dance moves"!! It was seriously the cutest, funniest thing I've ever seen!!! It also makes the $150 we dropped 2 weeks ago, to go see the Wiggles live on stage in November, burn a little bit less! Just a little bit though!

4). Shane's doing better in his big boy bed! We're still working through some kinks, but we've managed to keep him out of our bed the majority of this last week, which is a HUGE accomplishment for us! Now we just have to work on Shane not waking up at all in the middle of the night and looking for us (okay, me) and on getting him to go down at night without us (okay, me) sitting in the room with him waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for him to fall asleep! Other than those few issues though, he's really doing great. He's not in and out of his bed all the time like we thought he would've been - so that alone is HUGE!! We'll be putting the final touches on his room this weekend and I'll be sure to take pictures and share them with all of you next week!

5). Have I ever mentioned how much this kid LOVES to play with my hair?!?!

Life . . .

2008-09-22T15:05:00.005-04:00

. . . is busy. We spent the entire weekend running errands and helping Uncle Jay put up drywall in his new living room. Never once picked up the camera this weekend! It's going to be a "light" week for photos unless I can find some "oldies but goodies" that I never shared!! Keep your fingers crossed!

. . . is exhausting. Shane keeps us on our toes all the time these days. His days of napping seem to be long gone and with them went our treasured moments of quiet and relaxation. He's got us going non-stop and the only time we sit down these days is when he's asleep for the night! With all these new developments, we're a *little* behind with a lot of things to say the least! Exhibit A - last night we watched the season/series finale of Shark (that we tivo'd) from May 20! Only took us 4 months to find the time to watch it!! By the time we're finally able to sit down and un-wind, we just want to go to bed ourselves! We're WAY beyond sleep-deprived these days!

. . . is fun. Busy and exhausted as we may be, we still have a great time. Shane makes us laugh on a daily basis - either by something he says, something he does, or an accomplishment he's made. When he's finished eating his yogurt, he no longer leaves the empty yogurt cup and spoon sitting on the table (or the floor, or the couch . . . if I'm being honest!) he now throws the empty yogurt cup out in the garbage can (this warms my heart) and the spoon goes right back into the silverware drawer (yogurt remains on the handle and all)!! So in addition to fetching Shane all day long, we're also fetching dirty spoons out of the drawer!

. . . is good. Most of all, despite everything else, life is good. We need to remember that a little bit more some days!

Cousins

2008-09-18T15:39:00.002-04:00

Last weekend we took a drive to upstate New York to visit all of Chris's cousins and to help celebrate Charleen's 40th birthday. To say that Shane had a blast playing with all of his cousins is an understatement!! The kid had an unbelievable time and enjoyed every single minute of the day!

Timmy had so many toys that Shane doesn't have and I swear the kid thought he was in the middle of Toys R Us. His face lit up when he walked into the playroom and he just didn't know where to go first!

Here are a few quick snapshots of the kids playing around outside. It's nice to be able to get together with these guys, as many of them have kids Shane's age (or close to it) - and they're family to boot!

Shane, Jack and Timmy in the wagon:
Daddy taking a break from pulling them up and down (and up and down, and up and down) the LONG and HILL-Y driveway!!

The 3 Amigos again:
For some reason Shane thought it would be fun to hop out of the wagon and pull Jack and Timmy himself! Much to our amazement, he was actually able to do it, and he did pretty well . . . as long as he stayed on the driveway!

GramZ, Daddy and Shane - this is what happens when you use a flash! Look at their faces!! (still a cute shot though!)
We all had a blast and we're looking forward to getting together again with everyone for the holidays!