Goodnight

One day, far too soon, when you aren’t so little anymore, I’ll be tucking you into bed and after you’ve pleaded for just one more story, you’ll look up at me with those big blue eyes that I’m such a sucker for and say “Mommy, tell me about when I was a baby”… and I will.

I’ll snuggle down next to you and kiss you on your forehead and tell you how when you were a baby you were so sweet, that you had such an infectious silly laugh, a favorite blanket that you slept with, and little chicken legs that everyone loved.

I’ll tell you about how I used to sing a special song to you when you were upset, or when you couldn't settle yourself down and how, from that, you learned to sing yourself to sleep at night.

I’ll tell you how much you loved your trucks, your trains, your books, your dogs and Elmo - we must never forget your love for Elmo.

I’ll tell you about how when you were a newborn you would squish up your face like a little bird when you were waiting for that bottle to find it's way back into your mouth. About how angry you’d get when you didn’t get your way, and that you made sure everyone knew you were angry. How when you hurt you would take it out on the object (or person) closest to you, because you didn't know what else to do with the emotions you were feeling.

As you start to get sleepy, I’ll kiss you on your forehead again and tell you how so many nights I would sit with you in the rocking chair in your room with your head on my shoulder knowing full well that you didn’t need to be rocked to sleep, but not wanting to let the moment go. How in those last few minutes before I laid you down I would close my eyes and just breathe in the memory, sometimes letting my heart swell until my eyes got teary realizing that one day, all too soon, you wouldn’t be so little anymore.

My son, you were an amazing baby, you are an amazing toddler and I have no doubt you will become an amazing man. My baby, my first baby. You were more than I ever could have dreamed, and I love you more than I ever thought possible.

Goodnight.